Update, schmupdate

Read this post in my other blog so you know why I'm not updating anything or responding to anything:

http://reasonlight.blogspot.com/2008/03/ditto-heidi-ditto.html

Hopefully, I'll be back to my old self sometime in the next month...

Day one... welcome to day one...

Hello. Sorry for the link, but I can't help but hear these two in my head every time I think about the title of today's entry. :)

"Today" actually started last night for me. I had a particularly tough day yesterday, because I'm essentially doing 2 jobs right now (software trainer/help desk and my regular job). By the time I got home I was having one of those you'd-better-lay-down-or-who-knows-what-will-happen feelings. So I did that, and Eric and Nat made some frozen pizza for dinner.
(one goal missed, skipped on the stim/massage treatments)
Evening passed and when it got closer to bed time, I *did* take my sleeping pill and my supplements.
I slept like a rock, the drugs do really help me there, I can tell that I'm getting better sleep because I am dreaming again, and I'm not fighting to get up in the morning.
Morning... I got up and rushed around the house to get us ready to go, in somewhat of my normal routine, but there isn't much structure to it. I did take my be good to yourself and don't have a panic attack pill, so another +1 for me.
During the day, I was too busy to do the stim like I am supposed to, but I held up better as the day went on. I treated myself to a coffee (skim milk, of course) when I was doing the mail and stretched that process out as long as I could to get some rest.
Evening...
This is what I'm most proud of. I got home, spent some time with Nat, then:
1) I showered
2) Got back in the shower a second time to shave (I know, TMI, you'll see where I'm going with this in a minute)
3) Took my supplements
4) Made a very simple dinner, though Nat was already crashed out by this time
5) While dinner was cooking I unloaded the dishwasher, did the dishes in the sink and cleaned the sink (all the while feeling very... fuzzy, it's hard to describe in words how I feel, I'm hoping that the more I write the better it will come to me)
***ADD TO GOALS...*** Go to bed with a clean sink every night
6) Now, I put Nat to bed, had some of my dinner and started writing.
It's only 8:20 pm so I will still have time to do the stim/massage before I take my sleepy pill and crash.

SOOOOOOO....
I will have accomplished all of my tasks for the day and even added a few things in for good measure. While I understand that all of this will seem very menial to the average person and a part of your "normal" day, this is the most that I have done in one evening in some time.

I have a really hard time, even with a new job and a new schedule which is supposed to accommodate my deficits, I still have a very hard time forcing myself to slow down and set a pace for the WHOLE DAY. This seems like a great start, so I am just going to keep at it.

Here she is... Miss Procrastinator

Starting this blog is just one of many things I have been procrastinating. My life has been one continuous procrastination after the next. I think that this is mostly because I am so driven in my working life that I expend all of my resources during the day.

I've just decided that I really need to make some (many, in fact) changes to the way I function day to day. I have had so many life changes in the last few years that I have found that I have become more receptive to the idea of change.

Change is not what I'm afraid of, it's the routine. I have just been without real structure for so long, I seem to struggle with the smallest, regular daily tasks, most of which would improve my over-all quality of life. A lot of my stumbling and excuses are related to my memory and fatigue problems (lasting effects from my surgery), but I suppose I may as well accept these things as part of "normal" for me now and try to push through it.

The first step is committing to print the things that I really need to work on and try to break them into the smallest possible steps.

1) Take meds (including vitamins and sleeping pills which I was leery of) EVERY day and quit ignoring electronic prompts to take them.
2) Develop a basic morning routine and stick to it (during the week days at a minimum)
3) Develop a basic evening routine and stick to it (during the week days at a minimum)
4) Exercise on the weekend days (if we are not out of town) at LEAST 30 minutes at the Y (I got that new membership for a reason, hulllooooh)
5) Use muscle stimulator and massage every day (in the evenings at a minimum) to relieve neck and shoulder problems
6) Write on the accountability blog and potentially elsewhere (possible book thing has been in my brain for about the last 4 years, if not the last 10) for minimum of 1 hour a week

I could list a million other things here related to eating, organization, de-cluttering, and reducing face time on the computer as T has mentioned. However, based on my prior track record I think I should take small steps so that I can record some actual progress and form some new habits before taking on the world.

Eventually, if I don't get immediately overwhelmed, I should post future goals so that I feel like I'm at least acknowledging those things and return to them when I feel I've moved beyond some of the initialI am hoping that the fear of being held accountable to others will help me to stick with this, I know that it's only going to benefit me and those around me, so there is no time like the present to get started.

:) Wish me luck and send me good thoughts.
'berly girl

February Wrap-Up | March Start-Up

Well, not much changed over the last two weeks. Even I got bored with myself and what I was doing, so I won't bore you with too many details. All-in-all there wasn't much change overall, except what I was drinking was definitely healthier!

The scale only dropped 4 lbs - and that was really wishful thinking more than anything. It fluctuated up and down a lot and it was back to 170 today (technically not Feb anymore, but you get the point.)

It was kinda of a bummer not to loose more than that, but i do notice that clothes fit better right now. I'm not talkin dropped dress sizes or anything, but all my 14 pants are definitely looser and I was actually able to wear my skinny 14s - with a belt required - when I went to church on Sunday. So - inches are dropped, just not the scale.

With that in mind, I hereby state my March goals.

1 thr 3) Repeat February goals with beverages: no soda, 1 coffee, 64 oz water. These are going pretty good and I think I can do better.

4) EXERCISE - moving up in priority! Rather than say I'm going to get in 30 minutes per day, I'm going to go 1hr for 3 days per week solid. I got too easily frustrated when I would miss this on Monday and Tuesday and figure "why bother" for the rest of the week. If I miss a day or two here or there, I can still meet my goal and I know that I, personally, will work better with a goal like this.

5) Shake, shake, shake. Yep, back on the Herbalife Shakes. Last time I tried these I lost 20, thought I had plataued, got cocky and stopped using it and put back on 10. Joe said I should try it again since it worked last time and no my own limits this time. So, for March at least, I'm back on for 2 shakes per day. No slacking, no soy milk substitutions, just mix and water. Yuck! But, it DOES work for me as a "jump start".

6) Measure. Yeah, I learned the first time on the shakes that the scale doesn't tell the whole story. Sometimes, that little tape measure gives you a better picture of success. So, the grid will now have 4 measurements - bust, waist, hips and thigh. I won't post these everyday, but there will be at least weekly listings. Grid is here: http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=p-mJfOClu-kA7ktPEOswNPQ. Will still have columns for sleep and weight as well.

7) Record on The Daily Plate. I started recording my food on this site and what an eye-opener that was! By inputting what I weigh and my height as well as my loss goal, I was given an calorie in-take goal. Then, recording my actual intake I was able to see what I was really eating! Starbucks coffee is OUT but Chipotle actually isn't too bad if I can take it easy on the sour cream and cheese. Amazing! And most days I actually eat about 200 calories LESS than my allotment, which I think is good... You can see that journal here: http://www.thedailyplate.com/diary/who/tntmomma.

Since the shakes are taking over most of my food intake now, I'm not going to make too many goals based on sweets, etc. I know I have to take it easy or the shakes don't work and they cost too much to not work 'em right! I might have to resort to caramel rice cakes or my 100 calorie GRasshopper cookies for in-betweens now and then, but I think they'll be ok.

Thanks for continuing on this journey with me.