I'm sitting here thinking, "why is it that I want to be held "accountable" for just my weight?" What about all those other things in my life that I should be holding myself accountable for, like praying and spending time with my kids or even just paying my bills on time? I think today I'm going to start doing that. Will you join me? I want to have more time in my day to pray about things and not so much reminisce, but reflect on certain things in my life. I want to be more accountable for things I'm doing, why I'm doing it and be able to say no to those things I don't need in my life. The things that take time away from getting my hands dirty with my kids or cuddling with my hubby. Those things that keep my life from being simpler.

My goal today is to find 15 minutes where I can talk to Jesus and clear my mind.

Jingle Bell Run Update

Today was the Jingle Bell Run and I had high hopes that were soon squashed.

I got there early enough to get a walk in to warm up, so I could start off the race runing instead of walking. Which was cool - and it worked. For about 1k.

(start of race - I'm at the far left of pic, in purple jacket)

After that first 1k, my left ankle really started hurting and I slowed to a walk. A slow walk. Even that hurt. I thought - "I can't make it up this hill - not at all!" (from JCCC entrance on College to the corner of Quivira for those who know the area). Yanked my headphones from my ears, hoping the sound of the cards whizzing past would stir up my adrenaline a little. I literally had tears falling down my cheeks as I got mad at myself for being this "fragile" and easily broken. I honestly thought it would be better to just stop, sit down and have myself a good cry.

But, I didn't. I kept walking. I adjusted my expectations and decided that to WALK (even really slowly) and finish would be better than to feel sorry for myself and stop.

Eventully a nice woman named Bridget stepped up beside me and struck up a conversation. I matched her pace and she got me through the race. Literally. Without her, I don't think I would have finished. We talked about being atheletes in high school and husbands and kids and God and who knows what else. Anything to keep from focusing on how the race wasn't turning out to be what we expected and to keep us moving. I also reazlied at some point my ankle stopped hurting and I probably could have run again (and run the whole rest of the way!)- but I thought that talking to her was more important than trying to get a lower time.

As we got close to the end, I said "you wanna sprint it out?" (We had both been sprinters in high school - but it sounds like she was much better than I was!) She agreed and off we went. That last 100 meters felt GREAT (and they got pics of it...)!

(me in purple, Bridget in red)

The sprint didn't make a lot of difference to my time (kept me under 51 minutes but that's about it) but it made a world of difference to my attitude. To know that I finished the race and that I could overcome my internal issues was really cool. So - thank you Bridget wherever you might be now. I owe this race to you!

================
Official results
50:46.8
(same as my iPod and watch)

Women 30-34
24th

Overall
269

sprinting to the finish line -->

2 month weight loss

I went back to my surgeon yesterday for my 2 month follow-up. I am down another 8 lbs for a total of 21.2 lbs!! Woohooo!!! He didn't give me another fill. He thinks where I'm at right now is perfect and wants to go another month and see how it goes. I have found a couple of foods that that I really can't eat anymore, bread, which I knew was a possibility, salad and hot dogs (I love the turkey ones). But maybe down the road. Things change;) Still having NO CRAVINGS, which is awesome. My energy seems to have leveled off, but I'm hoping that will change as I drop more weight and exercise more. Plus, we've all been fighting that stomach bug in our house - yuck!

My next thing is working on my hubby. I have some ground turkey in the fridge I'm going to try to get past him tonight ala turkey chili:) We'll see if he can tell. He wasn't up for my eggbeaters and turkey burgers earlier this week, but I still love him . . .

I hope all is going well with your work out plans & accountability:)

Running Update

After the Pumpkin Run I hit a small snag and didn't do anything for THREE weeks. Yeah - bad - I know. I was really hurting after the run, as it was really the first time I'd been on the road instead of a treadmill and it is much different on the legs! Then, everyone in the family got sick off and on and it wasn't worth it to me to try to run at that point.

But, since I said I'd be doing the Jingle Bell 5k on Sunday, 16 November, I figured I better get my booty moving!

Since last Sunday was such a pretty day and I woke up early even with the time change, I went for a 3-miler outside. Amazing to me was that my time was pretty close to what I did the Pumpkin Run in, so maybe the break wasn't a bad thing.

Last night I had a meeting that I was pretty pumped after, so I decided to run after the kids went to bed. I wasn't able to do the full three miles but I was able to run at about an 11-minute pace for a solid 15-minutes. That's another first for me!

Although we're heading into cold weather now, I have realized that I like running outside more than inside. Here's a few reason why:

1. Quitting on a treadmill is way too easy - outside you have to make it all the way back home, whether you want to stop moving or not!
   
2. There are more "good distractions" outside - like bumps in the road, cars, other people. There are more "bad distractions" inside - kids, spouse, TV, telephone, computer
   
3. There are more "next points" outside - "I can make it to the next....pole, sign, crack in the sidewalk, tree, the next car passes, the next runner passes, etc. Inside, the only "next points" are songs and commercials - or ticks of the clock!
   
4. FRESH AIR! Plus the occasional cold breeze is much better than depending on the ceiling fan in a heated house!
   
5. If I talk to myself while running - words of encouragement, of course - no one is around to give me funny looks. My husband, on the other hand, comes and makes fun of me talking to myself. :-)

Photo update

Ok, I'm now about 8 weeks or so out from surgery. Things are going well. I was on a good run with the working out, but it has seemed to be put on the back burner the past 2 weeks with everything else going on. So I need to get back into that. Say an extra prayer for me, would ya!:) I did have my first official "fill" on 10-9-08 of 2 cc's. That was interesting. But boy, was the Doc right when he said you'll find things you'll no longer be able to eat (i.e., bread and certain meats). I found out the hard way what happens when you find something like that or try to eat too fast. You regret it about a second later!

I have noticed my taste buds have really changed. I haven't had one craving since surgery, which just blows my mind. I find I want to fall into the same old habits even though I'm not hungry at all. My stomach still growls even though I'm not hungry. I actually went to bed last night without supper -- I didn't realize it until this morning when I woke up!!

I don't have an official "weight loss" amount. I'm refusing to weigh myself except for when I'm at my doctor's office because his scale is weighing me different than mine. So I'll give another up date after I go back for my monthly visit on 11-13-08.

I'm also seeing positive results trickeling over into my family. My hubby isn't eating as much and is still tossing the idea around of having surgery one day too. My kids are starting to slow down eating because they see me eating slower and less. Although, I do still have to get on my 6-year-old to slow down and actually taste his food instead of inhaling it! We're just a work in progress I guess:)