Bring on April!

In about 30 mintues it will be April - can I get a Hallelujah?!?!

Although March officially 'broke' me, I know there were some high points:

• Turned 34 and survived.
• Won 2 movie tickets in a raffle.
• Found a new snack/meal thing that I just CRAVE (details below).
• Watched my first karate tourney where both sons did well and 1 even brought home a 1st place trophy! (yes, my kids' successes I claim as a high point!)
• Both boys brought home fairly decent grade cards (although Emily didn't...*sigh*).

Well, that's ony 5 things, but that's better than not being able to find ANY!

So - snack/meal thingy. I crave this so much that I'll probay go make myself another bowl when I'm done writing!

• 1/2 c. Dannon Light & Fit Vanilla Yogurt
• 1/2 c. Trail Mix Crunch cereal (Maple Nut & Brown Sugar flavor)
• handful of blueberries and/or sliced strawberries
• Layer as listed and eat - YUMMY!

Yeah - basically it's the yogurt parfait you can get at McDonald's, but the granola is more than just granola with the brown sugar and nuts. I think that's what I like it so much! Anyway, it makes a great quick snack or a great breakfast. And it's pretty darn healthy!

Now that's I've been relagated to sitting on a funky cushion or lying around all the time, I have SO much energy and I want to work out. Isn't that just the way it is with life?? Any suggestions people have for lying down exercises that don't involved my booty (which of course NEEDS the workout!) please share. Anything upper body related would be great (although nothing with weights or that requires repetitive arm movements - I don't know how, but I've got both tennis elbow AND golf elbow in my left arm and I'm supposed to rest it).

Here's to April and the JOY of putting March behind me!!

Help!!

I'm in need of some motiviation, inspiration, or whatever you want to call it. I don't know if it's just PMS-ing or stress, but I'm finding it very hard to be motivated and not go back to my old habits. Help!!

I've been a bad, bad girl...

Here is a quick run-down of my progress:

1) Morning routine... improving in consistency. Biggest battle now is getting up on time, I have been late the last two mornings in a row.
2) Evening routine... MUCH improved, also helping the morning routine by getting clothes and odds and ends done before bed.
3) Meds and supplements... MOST improved at this point, starting to become a habit without relying as much on queues, and also starting to get into the same habits for Nathaniel.
4) Massage and muscle stim. for neck -- the worst. Cannot improve on everything overnight, I suppose. I have been in a lot of pain lately as a result. Going to hook up to the stim now as a matter of fact. I am off work on Friday and Monday so I should schedule a REAL massage and start getting back on the right track.
5) Keeping a clean sink every night before bed. This has also been difficult to keep up because of the two boys in my house and mostly because it's not in my nature. I'm really working hard, but some times I just put it off.
6) Writing... well, I think I'm a little behind schedule. I have been thinking about sitting down and banging some stuff out a lot lately, just haven't had the fortitude to go through with it. I will be updating my other blog today or tonight as well.
7) GYM... ummmmm..... no. I have to say I haven't been a single, solitary time since I started writing and I really feel badly about it. My eating has been poor as well, the two things are always linked for me.

All in all, I am making progress, but I am taking on a lot at once so I need to give myself some small credit for continuing to persue it and not throwing in the towel on everything because I have missed a few things here and there.

The one thing that I can't understand is this, and maybe you can understand what I'm saying here...

I *KNOW* how good it feels to accomplish my goals. I know how good I feel physically and mentally when I work out. Why do we consistently NOT do things that we *KNOW* make us feel good, but are GOOD FOR US??? This is something I struggle with every day... procrastination, excuses, whining, feeling sorry for myself. I get infuriated with myself, and with my life in general when I can't keep up these good habits, and yet, I always seem to slip into the same bad patterns. People have made millions writing books about HOW to improve yourself, but no one can tell you how to remain consistent. I suppose it's just a lot of trial and error and changing your life.

I hope everyone is doing okay and I want to see YOU posting soon. :)

/blog. K

Like my month wasn't stressful enough already. . .

So I went this morning for my monthly weigh-in and wouldn't you know it. I gained a pound! After the week/month I've had dealing with my husband on his pain issues (that's a whole nother blog) and our summer plans for childcare that he doesn't think we need, I knew it wasn't going to be a good month. I'm actually glad it wasn't a larger gain. And do I get any credit for being bloated because of you know what?

Yes, it would have been nice to loose another 5 pounds, but at least I know I have it within my power to loose it. One pound at a time:)

On the bright side, I have walked 4 days in the past week. My goals are to increase my mobility with walking like I did earlier this week with the kids and a co-worker and purchase a pedometer. I really need to get my pilates DVD out and do it at least once a week. Say a prayer for me that I get the motivation I need to make these goals a reality. I need all the help I can get, especially with all this rain outside.

I did it!

We had 50 degree weather yesterday! Can you believe it? So much different from this weekend when we were snowed in.

Anyways, I got off work early to go pick the kids up from school since Chip's brother was having surgery. It was soooo nice out. As soon as we got home, we went in to use the restroom and headed right back out. Ginger and Jackson grabbed their bikes and Chely & I walked. We walked for about an hour. It felt so good to be out in the sun. I highly recommend it if you get a chance and the weather this week.

That just started my evening off great! From there we went inside and did homework. When we were done, Ginger wanted to watch the movie "with that girl and the football." So I put The Game Plan in. Really good movie for family. Then we ordered pizza and salads and just made a movie night out of it by ending with 1/2 of High School Musical 2.

Today for lunch I reheated my left over fajitas from Monday and used some wheat tortillas. (You have no idea how much I Iove to eat out - so re-heating is a big accomplishment for me). My plan today is to walk for about 1/2 an hour with a co-worker since it's still so beautiful outside.

You're not alone. . .

Oh, girl, you are so not alone this month. I don't know if it's because now I know I have 3 more months of waiting for surgery, PMS, or just plain stress, but the past couple of weeks I have just wanted anything and everything chocolate or greasy. I have been able to fight off the urges most of the time, but I did have some fries last night --- ssh! don't tell. And we won't talk about last week at all. Ugh! . . .and working out - that's a whole nother story.

So I decided this week was going to be brand new. I took the stairs at work (down counts, right?) and walked 10 blocks yesterday and Sunday we played out side in the snow. So far today I have taken the stairs once, but I did really good at lunch. I had a grilled chicken sandwich and a chilli to eat. That was a hard choice because I really, really wanted a double cheeseburger and fries and a chocolate frosty. Ok, quit drooling. . .

Then out of the blue last night, my hubby tells me I "really have lost a lot of weight." WOW! Of course, that would have been nice to hear over the past three month -- every month. Then he followed it up with, "Now you're gonna get all skinny and leave me." What? You don't think I can leave you cause I'm fat?" I got a blank look and then his response - "No, you will, guys will start flirting with you when you get skinny." Me: "Oh, so you don't think they flirt with me now?" He didn't seem to understand my thinking. Well, I guess at least he finally said it. That should count for something. . . I guess.

Anyways, the rest of this week I want to walk at lunch and eat like I should. Not to mention I need to keep my log up-to-date as I eat instead of filling it out later. I've gotten into a bad habit with that. Even though I've had a few "testy" weeks, I still think I'm doing better now than I was 4 months ago.

Marching Along

So, 10 days into the month and I really haven't been very good. I had LOTS of soda this weekend, movie theatre popcorn, cheesecake, doughnuts, very little water and almost no exercise.

I'm slowly coming out of my mood. slowly slowly slowly. At least now I'm starting to feel guilty for letting all my good works drop away. But, I can't find the care to DO anything about it yet.

I did ask Amanda to go for a walk with me this week - when the weather should be in the 70s again by mid-week. you know Amanda - the positive outlook commenter who seems to ALWAYS be on the right track? [I love you girl!] Hopefully, she'll get my butt moving in the right direction with her good vibes and positive outlook. :)

Otherwise, don't look for updates on my grid or daily plate. There aren't too many. There probably will be this week, just nothing major for this month yet.

I still have 3 weeks this month, so don't give up hope on me just yet!

Update, schmupdate

Read this post in my other blog so you know why I'm not updating anything or responding to anything:

http://reasonlight.blogspot.com/2008/03/ditto-heidi-ditto.html

Hopefully, I'll be back to my old self sometime in the next month...

Day one... welcome to day one...

Hello. Sorry for the link, but I can't help but hear these two in my head every time I think about the title of today's entry. :)

"Today" actually started last night for me. I had a particularly tough day yesterday, because I'm essentially doing 2 jobs right now (software trainer/help desk and my regular job). By the time I got home I was having one of those you'd-better-lay-down-or-who-knows-what-will-happen feelings. So I did that, and Eric and Nat made some frozen pizza for dinner.
(one goal missed, skipped on the stim/massage treatments)
Evening passed and when it got closer to bed time, I *did* take my sleeping pill and my supplements.
I slept like a rock, the drugs do really help me there, I can tell that I'm getting better sleep because I am dreaming again, and I'm not fighting to get up in the morning.
Morning... I got up and rushed around the house to get us ready to go, in somewhat of my normal routine, but there isn't much structure to it. I did take my be good to yourself and don't have a panic attack pill, so another +1 for me.
During the day, I was too busy to do the stim like I am supposed to, but I held up better as the day went on. I treated myself to a coffee (skim milk, of course) when I was doing the mail and stretched that process out as long as I could to get some rest.
Evening...
This is what I'm most proud of. I got home, spent some time with Nat, then:
1) I showered
2) Got back in the shower a second time to shave (I know, TMI, you'll see where I'm going with this in a minute)
3) Took my supplements
4) Made a very simple dinner, though Nat was already crashed out by this time
5) While dinner was cooking I unloaded the dishwasher, did the dishes in the sink and cleaned the sink (all the while feeling very... fuzzy, it's hard to describe in words how I feel, I'm hoping that the more I write the better it will come to me)
***ADD TO GOALS...*** Go to bed with a clean sink every night
6) Now, I put Nat to bed, had some of my dinner and started writing.
It's only 8:20 pm so I will still have time to do the stim/massage before I take my sleepy pill and crash.

SOOOOOOO....
I will have accomplished all of my tasks for the day and even added a few things in for good measure. While I understand that all of this will seem very menial to the average person and a part of your "normal" day, this is the most that I have done in one evening in some time.

I have a really hard time, even with a new job and a new schedule which is supposed to accommodate my deficits, I still have a very hard time forcing myself to slow down and set a pace for the WHOLE DAY. This seems like a great start, so I am just going to keep at it.

Here she is... Miss Procrastinator

Starting this blog is just one of many things I have been procrastinating. My life has been one continuous procrastination after the next. I think that this is mostly because I am so driven in my working life that I expend all of my resources during the day.

I've just decided that I really need to make some (many, in fact) changes to the way I function day to day. I have had so many life changes in the last few years that I have found that I have become more receptive to the idea of change.

Change is not what I'm afraid of, it's the routine. I have just been without real structure for so long, I seem to struggle with the smallest, regular daily tasks, most of which would improve my over-all quality of life. A lot of my stumbling and excuses are related to my memory and fatigue problems (lasting effects from my surgery), but I suppose I may as well accept these things as part of "normal" for me now and try to push through it.

The first step is committing to print the things that I really need to work on and try to break them into the smallest possible steps.

1) Take meds (including vitamins and sleeping pills which I was leery of) EVERY day and quit ignoring electronic prompts to take them.
2) Develop a basic morning routine and stick to it (during the week days at a minimum)
3) Develop a basic evening routine and stick to it (during the week days at a minimum)
4) Exercise on the weekend days (if we are not out of town) at LEAST 30 minutes at the Y (I got that new membership for a reason, hulllooooh)
5) Use muscle stimulator and massage every day (in the evenings at a minimum) to relieve neck and shoulder problems
6) Write on the accountability blog and potentially elsewhere (possible book thing has been in my brain for about the last 4 years, if not the last 10) for minimum of 1 hour a week

I could list a million other things here related to eating, organization, de-cluttering, and reducing face time on the computer as T has mentioned. However, based on my prior track record I think I should take small steps so that I can record some actual progress and form some new habits before taking on the world.

Eventually, if I don't get immediately overwhelmed, I should post future goals so that I feel like I'm at least acknowledging those things and return to them when I feel I've moved beyond some of the initialI am hoping that the fear of being held accountable to others will help me to stick with this, I know that it's only going to benefit me and those around me, so there is no time like the present to get started.

:) Wish me luck and send me good thoughts.
'berly girl

February Wrap-Up | March Start-Up

Well, not much changed over the last two weeks. Even I got bored with myself and what I was doing, so I won't bore you with too many details. All-in-all there wasn't much change overall, except what I was drinking was definitely healthier!

The scale only dropped 4 lbs - and that was really wishful thinking more than anything. It fluctuated up and down a lot and it was back to 170 today (technically not Feb anymore, but you get the point.)

It was kinda of a bummer not to loose more than that, but i do notice that clothes fit better right now. I'm not talkin dropped dress sizes or anything, but all my 14 pants are definitely looser and I was actually able to wear my skinny 14s - with a belt required - when I went to church on Sunday. So - inches are dropped, just not the scale.

With that in mind, I hereby state my March goals.

1 thr 3) Repeat February goals with beverages: no soda, 1 coffee, 64 oz water. These are going pretty good and I think I can do better.

4) EXERCISE - moving up in priority! Rather than say I'm going to get in 30 minutes per day, I'm going to go 1hr for 3 days per week solid. I got too easily frustrated when I would miss this on Monday and Tuesday and figure "why bother" for the rest of the week. If I miss a day or two here or there, I can still meet my goal and I know that I, personally, will work better with a goal like this.

5) Shake, shake, shake. Yep, back on the Herbalife Shakes. Last time I tried these I lost 20, thought I had plataued, got cocky and stopped using it and put back on 10. Joe said I should try it again since it worked last time and no my own limits this time. So, for March at least, I'm back on for 2 shakes per day. No slacking, no soy milk substitutions, just mix and water. Yuck! But, it DOES work for me as a "jump start".

6) Measure. Yeah, I learned the first time on the shakes that the scale doesn't tell the whole story. Sometimes, that little tape measure gives you a better picture of success. So, the grid will now have 4 measurements - bust, waist, hips and thigh. I won't post these everyday, but there will be at least weekly listings. Grid is here: http://spreadsheets.google.com/pub?key=p-mJfOClu-kA7ktPEOswNPQ. Will still have columns for sleep and weight as well.

7) Record on The Daily Plate. I started recording my food on this site and what an eye-opener that was! By inputting what I weigh and my height as well as my loss goal, I was given an calorie in-take goal. Then, recording my actual intake I was able to see what I was really eating! Starbucks coffee is OUT but Chipotle actually isn't too bad if I can take it easy on the sour cream and cheese. Amazing! And most days I actually eat about 200 calories LESS than my allotment, which I think is good... You can see that journal here: http://www.thedailyplate.com/diary/who/tntmomma.

Since the shakes are taking over most of my food intake now, I'm not going to make too many goals based on sweets, etc. I know I have to take it easy or the shakes don't work and they cost too much to not work 'em right! I might have to resort to caramel rice cakes or my 100 calorie GRasshopper cookies for in-betweens now and then, but I think they'll be ok.

Thanks for continuing on this journey with me.